The Movie That [Should Have] Started a Revolution

Okay, the title is a bit of an overreaction. Either that or it needs clarification: I'm not talking about an actual gunpowder-and-guts revolution like that little tiff we had with King George, nor the strong surge of noncooperation that freed India from the British. I'm talking about a cultural revolution-- a swift, sudden, and mass re-wiring of the way we view our fellow human beings.

The reason I watch movies so often is not because I mistake them for real life, nor because I prefer the simulated human interactions therein to those with real people. Neither of those items hold true for me. I watch movies for a number of complex reasons, the pertinent one of the day being that it always amazes me the way some films can either galvanize and polarize the public... or simply be allowed to be relegated to the status of "cute, moderately successful and perfectly harmless message movie." For instance, Spartacus ignited a war over censorship that raged on into the early 90s; David Lean's Doctor Zhivago, on the other hand, became little more than a 200-minute sleeping pill with a repetitive score and some requisite themes about individuality and the strength of the human heart.

The movie I'm about to discuss, unfortunately, has become a disciple of the Zhivago tradition. The difference: it's actually worth three and a half hours (although it lasts less than half of that time) and should have become something big. But, being an independent comedy, let's face it, it never had a chance.

Today's movie, class, is called Were the World Mine. Simply put (if you can put it simply), it tells of the bizarre events that transpire when a far-out English teacher decides to put on a production of Shakespeare's A Midsummer Night's Dream... at the all-boys high school where she works. She casts a reluctant but shockingly talented guy named Timothy in the role of Puck. Timothy-- being gay-- has been abused by his schoolmates for years, and the play invites more and more trauma into his life, particularly from the school rugby team (yes, rugby) and its alarmingly macho coach, who is not pleased with the thought of the rugby players playing the likes of fairies and girls. Meanwhile, Timothy gets fed up with all the attitude, and finds, between the lines of the play's text, the recipe for Cupid's Love Juice, which, when sprayed on someone's eyes, causes them to fall in love with the first person they see.

Timothy sprays it on everyone, starting with the entire rugby team, who are soon pairing off like jackrabbits; the rugby coach, who develops a burning passion for the principal; the principal's creepy, cosmetic-hawking wife, who becomes unnaturally enamored of Timothy's bewildered mother, etc. One girl's would-be boyfriend ends up pining for Puck while not one, but two, cheerleaders are trying to catch her eye. Most of the students' parents, however, seem to have missed the memo, demanding that the English teacher be fired and the play be canceled. The teacher seeks out Timothy, who's gotten what he wanted but caused a dangerous mix-up, and must set things straight (no pun intended) at the play, which will, in fact, go on.

The point is that Were the World Mine raises not just one, but a handful of issues that are very important. The most important is the fear and ostracism that gay teenagers face, from both the adults they should trust and the peers with whom they should be friends. This is a situation that must be remedied immediately. In some cases, it can contribute to teen suicide; but it's still reprehensible in less dire circumstances. It's amazing how people are willing to start throwing stones at perceived sinners, even though Jesus expressly forbade it. And adolescence is torturous enough without teens having an extra helping of pain and insult heaped on them. Contrary to popular belief, homosexuality is no more a choice than humanity. Well, genetic humanity, at any rate.

Less critically, the movie calls foul on high schools that emphasize athletics and demand preferential treatment over the arts. I'm not saying either deserves more than the other. A reasonable society should accomodate both. The arts are a part of our culture's past as well as its future; athletics, on the flipside, promotes health and (in the ideal conditions) healthy competition. I don't believe a country with such a high obesity rate can afford to abandon physical education, but if that's all our schools take pride in, we'll have a very fit, but very illiterate, nation.

Sadly, no one watched the movie. Well, okay, a lot of people did-- it was a festival flick, and a very popular one, at that. But given that there are no (fiery) explosions and it's not a remake of a slasher flick, it never got the wide exposure our society so richly needed it to get. So watch it! Spread the word! Share it with everyone you know! No matter what your political leaning, this is a crucial movie. If more modern films were like this, we'd get an added bonus: we might occasionally have something worthwhile to see at the theater! (No offense to Toy Story 3 or Fantastic Mr. Fox.)