He Who Is Tired Of Sarcasm Is Tired Of Life

Such a man would have sat in front of a blank computer screen for about five minutes without thinking of anything sad about the world to comment on. He would be so dull and run-down that he would insert all kinds of extraneous and redundant words into his blog post and capitalize every single letter in his title line.

It isn't that the week has been uneventful. I mean, for crying out loud, I wrote about music last week, didn't I? Old music. Music that you've probably never heard from movies you've probably never seen because I have extremely personalized tastes... but I digress. That isn't the topic for this week. But when I logged on to my home site and saw the so-called "news" and its top headline-- Lady Gaga's showstopping outfit for the VMAs-- I was suddenly hit with a soul-crushing wave of sheer... inertia. The world has gone beyond what I want to imagine it as, so I know longer try to imagine (or rather fathom) it.

I mean, you would think that nine years after the barbarity and tragedy of 9/11, people finally would have realized that Americans need to accept one another and stand together as one country. But instead of the wonderful, heart-swelling sense of national oneness I felt even at the age of ten after the events of that day, I would say that, in terms of interpersonal relations and cultural consciousness, we're at an even worse place. In a nation where we were once so afraid of Communists that we ostracized anyone who fit our stereotype of what a Communist should be (primarily those of Russian descent), only the names and stereotypes have changed. Now we shun all Muslims because of a minority among their numbers who are more vocal and who menace us. Gay marriage is still illegal in most states, and gay parents are viewed as incompetent. After 9/11, our priorities should have been thus. 1: the heartbreaking exercise of cleanup. That was dealt with with resolve, stamina, and heroism. 2: the swift, furious, and precise pursuit of those responsible. We all know how that one worked out. But at least we gave it a shot (however far from the bullseye). Not like 3: securing the same freedoms of marriage, parenthood, and recognition for everyone. Making sure that a widow/widower/orphan of such a day wouldn't be denied key information because of something so trivial as "legal relationship" if-- and may every force of divinity and nature forgive me for the inevitable thought we've all had-- something like that should ever happen again.

But nine years later, I still see the same hateful rhetoric being spewed out to keep these rights from others. It is important to note that I realize that not every opponent of gay marriage is hateful. But what can I say? Everyone is equal. And I used to think what made this country so great was its sense of (forgive the sexist word) brotherhood. But I no longer see that.

The reality is simply this. The legality of marriage is a civil concept, not a religious one. Why else would (heterosexual) civil ceremonies be as valid under U.S. law as spiritual ones? The federal or state governments both lack the authority to use such a broad criteria as gender to deny the civil benefits of marriage. Each individual religion can deal with the issue as it will, at least in my opinion, because just as the government can't deny the right to marry, neither can it deny the right to worship as an individual or religious body sees fit, however personally we may disagree with their teachings. That's that "First Amendment" thing we've been hearing about... which, incidentally, makes it possible for me to ramble on in my second overly long post in a week.

Sexual, religious, and familial morals are not to be enforced or judged by the state. One person's civil rights-- be they the right to marry or the right to micromanage the institution by establishing gender rules for it-- are not up for a vote.

And what do I say to a person who would tell a child that their home life is abnormal and their parents are living in sin? I would say this: what kind of horrible person says something like that to a child? Or about a child?

Another grand truth: there is no normal home life. We were all raised under different circumstances. The so-called "traditional family" also didn't exist until one group or another tried to corral everyone under the same, highly exclusive moral umbrella. But the thing people invoke when they say "traditional family"-- the idea of a number of kids raised by a married mother and father-- will continue until the world has ended.

Two people have only the power to cheapen their own marriage, not the whole institution. But if the cheapening of marriage was possible... it's already happened. Look to rock stars, pop stars, movie stars, professional athletes, and certain other mouthy hypocrites when you assign blame.

As two people can cheapen a marriage, so too can they cause it to appreciate. Remember that, too. I've seen my share of unhappily married couples, but I've also seen plenty that work very hard and love each other very much. That's a good thing, no matter whether your towels say "His & Hers" or "Hers & Hers."

To reiterate-- leave civil marriage open to all. You can't tell me a Britney Spears husband-du-jour is less damaging to the institution than a lifelong menu of husband and husband/wife and wife baguette. (I don't know why gay marriage is a baguette; a croissant, if you will, or perhaps an eclair; maybe less fancy, like a cinnamon raisin bagel. Hold on a minute, I'm kind of hungry.)

This has been an experiment in unfocused writing (in case you couldn't tell, har-har-har). I started going with one thing, and I just wanted to see where I'd wind up. The results tell me I'll be hawking equal rights until I die.

No classic arts news to report this time around, although I will say for the thousandth time: Exorcist II: The Heretic is not that bad.