Mutt-bloods and Murmurs

When it comes to dog shows, I'd rather put a salted fork in both eyes than actually watch one. Or I'd rather watch Titanic, but that's only if the fork thing doesn't work.

Yet I read with interest in the newspaper today about the climax to last night's... well, whatever the heck it was that stole White Collar's time slot on USA (rrr... ruff! ruff!) A couple protestors (ha, I almost wrote protestants!) charged onto the stage (terminology?) carrying signs about how cruel it is to breed pure-bred dogs.

This is a rare instance in which I actually agree with one of PETA's wacko slogans. (I'm sorry-- I like red meat, but fur is completely uncool.)

Just think how much stronger and smarter humans (collectively) would be if royal families the world over didn't rely on inbreeding to keep their genetic lines "pure." And then there're domesticated dogs, a shocking percentage of whom are purebred (read: inbred) to produce what their "owners" call "superior breeds."

Hello! Anyone else see the quasi-Nazi reasoning in that?

Oh, sure. Every dog owner wants a cute dog who can do lots and lots of tricks. But I'd rather have a healthy, non-miserable pooch if ever I was to own a dog. It's just basic decency, right? Dogs are supposed to be companions for your family (not, despite what the AKC seems to think, performing yappers)-- in other words, really, really hairy little friends who want nothing from you other than food and love. Is it too much to ask in return that you don't want your animals to suffer?

Inbreeding causes major genetic defects, particularly after generations of it, which can cause severe health problems for humans and animals alike. There's a reason why incest is outlawed in this country-- it's repulsive and dangerous! And it's no different for animals who get no choice in the matter, but are forced to get to it with whichever canine the breeder says. Haven't these creeps ever heard of "puppy love"?

In the kind of awesome double-whammy that only a really really awesome universe could provide, the newspapers also featured a story about how King Tut was clubfooted because of (drumroll, please)... inbreeding!

Enough is enough. This is yet another desperate situation this irate blogger wants to see rectified before you can say, "Eukanuba."