A Few Thoughts on the Past Week

I hope you all survived Thanksgiving and (especially) Black Friday. Hopefully nobody was killed by a greedy, moronic mob this year.

But speaking of greedy moronic mobs, there are a few news stories from the previous week that amused me so much I had to comment on them: stories of greed, idiocy, and angry mobs. I mean that last word in the "Frankenstein" sense, more than the "Godfather."

Adam Lambert's Performance Shocks the World
Come on, people. If he were a woman, you wouldn't care. Well, you would, but not in the same way....

Wannabe Reality Stars Crash Obama's Party
I wouldn't have commented on this. I'm trying not to give these lunatic freaks the attention they want, but our wonderful American news media did that when they printed the flipping story. The trick with wackos like this is to ignore them. Remember that next time you read a story about a boy in a balloon.

Black Friday Sales Start the Night Before
Twas the night before Friday and all through the mall, not a creature was stirring-- but bargain freaks all. Seriously, peeps. If the sales matter so much to you, at least go out decked in armor plating and armed with a broom. If you're lucky, the half-crazed shoppers will mistake it for a machine gun.

"New Moon" Opens
This is the eleventh Biblical plague-- the one God promised to Ramses, but canceled after seeing how much devastation he wrought with the locusts and scourge.

To much less fanfare...
"Fantastic Mr. Fox" Opens
Okay, for a second I had to make sure I was still on planet Earth. But, luckily, I am! You know how I know? 'Cause the brilliant, inventive, clever, and, ya know, entertaining "Mr. Fox" seems to be bombing while millions upon millions flock to see the pop culture crack that is "The Twilight Saga."