There's something I've always wanted to do. I've wanted to engage myself as a writer of those little summaries for movies on cable TV. I think I'd be fairly good at it, immodest as it may sound. I've spent so much of my life in the glow of the screen that it's had two effects on me: (1) turned me into a huge celluloid nerd and (2) given me the gift to know when a summary misses the mark.
So here's a sampling of my proposed work. I think you'll find these are more accurate than those you'll see in the actual listings.
Independence Day (1996) Will Smith gets mad and shoots some aliens.
Scarface (1983) Al Pacino gets mad and shoots everyone in sight.
Hello, Dolly! (1969) Two and a half hours of your life you'll never get back.
The Greatest Story Ever Told (1965) Ha! Fooled ya!
Ivanhoe (1952) People who talk funnily fight over some guy with a lion's heart, and presumably the ears of a bunny.
Driving Miss Daisy (1989) Morgan Freeman challenges Jessica Tandy to the sanctified "act-off."
All the President's Men (1976) A brutal indictment of '70s politics, but mostly of '70s hair.
Rocky (1976) The life story of the world's luckiest punching bag.
Alice in Wonderland (2009) Like Charlie and the Chocolate Factory with a rabbit.
Charlie and the Chocolate Factory (2006) Like Alice in Wonderland with unnaturally white teeth.
Top Gun (1986) Story of the forbidden love between a man, a plane, and his wingman. And something about Kelly McGillis.
The Sound of Music (1965) The Austrian Partridge Family fight the Nazis with the power... of showstopping musical numbers!
Doctor Zhivago (1965) Omar Sharif grows a mustache... again.
The Last Airbender (2010) A once-revered filmmaker hits rock bottom after an eight-year descent.
And to everyone in my life-- especially those who are going through difficult times right now-- I just want you to understand that I honestly and irrevocably love you.
Record keeping vs Spirit Inspirations
13 years ago
1 comment:
I love you too, but I actually do LIKE a lot of those movies you're pickin on!
Airbender's effects were awesome, if nothing more, but taken as the mindless entertainment it is, it's worthy of attention
I'll give you Dr Zhivago, and the Sound of Music [mostly]. But Driving Miss Daisy? Oh come on, that's such a sweet movie about friendship. Granted, I haven't seen it in 15 years, but I remember loving it.
And your niece LOVED Alice and Wonderland.
You already know how your brother feels about Top Gun. ;p
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