Central Perk Days: Xander's Film Registry, Part V

*The 1990s*- So no one told you the nineties were gonna be this way. This decade, we saw the meteoric rise (and subsequent shocking death) of Kurt Cobain, the dawn of Must-See TV, grunge, coffee culture, and modern punk. These years-- my very first decade-- also saw some pretty important movies rise up: the first full-length films in both computer-generated animation and stop-motion animation (Toy Story and The Nightmare Before Christmas, respectively), as well as the dawn of mindless, pointless violence in a genre besides horror (Reservoir Dogs and Pulp Fiction). So grab your five friends and order a capuccino (I may be misspelling that, I've never had one) for the ten films of the nineties.

PS-- Belated honorable mentions for the 60s, since I only recently saw these: The Innocents (1961), a chilling horror story that put The King & I's Deborah Kerr back in a hoopskirt; and How to Succeed in Business Without Really Trying (1967), a hilarious workplace musical that taught us why a secretary is not a toy.

The Godfather, Part III (1990)- If Sofia Coppola's horrible, obnoxious, whiny performance is removed from the movie, what you get is a classic on par with the original Francis Ford Coppola masterpieces. Al Pacino's Michael Corleone is trying desperately to get out of the infamous business, but a whiny (seeing a pattern?) Joe Mantegna and an unpredictable Andy Garcia are just making it too flipping impossible. The film also has some incredible dramatic scenes, with Michael confessing his ultimate sins to the future Pope John Paul I, Michael consulting with his old protector Don Tommasino, and Talia Shire's Connie-- her one good performance, this film, isn't even always enjoyable!-- in a scene involving poison cannoli and Eli Wallach as her godfather. Still a better sequel than most give it credit for.

The Doors (1991)- One of Oliver Stone's best movies, this heavily inaccurate biography of Doors frontman Jim Morrison (played perfectly by Val Kilmer) is mostly impressive for the fact that a wild, pulled-from-the-freaking-sky cast manages perfection nearly every time: Michael Madsen, Meg Ryan, Kevin Dillon, Kyle MacLachlan, Kathleen Quinlan, and even Billy Idol. Robert Richardson's cinematography captures the wild nature of the sixties combined with the absolute awe of the musical performances, and Kilmer, singing as Morrison, really does sound freakishly like him. The film's one horrific blunder-- combining a bunch of women in Morrison's life into the role of the real-life Patricia Kennealy, which made Kennealy feel betrayed-- is not diverting. All in all, it's a fantastic experience for anyone, regardless of preferences in film or music.

Star Trek VI: The Undiscovered Country (1991)- Thank every star in the sky William Shatner's Kirk saw his last starring role! Oh, wait-- he came back in the next one. Anyway, Nicholas Meyer's fantastic sixth installment in one of the galaxy's most uneven franchises was supposed to be the last big-screen adventure for the original Enterprise crew, and it's Cold War allegory all the way. Even though the wall had been down for a couple years by the time this movie was released, the impact of its message is not lost, and it serves as a reminder of a time when the idea of peace was new and nerve-wracking. The film also has some ironies, considering the allegory: the penal colony of Rura Penthe, described as a "gulag," is introduced to a band of prisoners including Kirk and Bones by a Klingon guard who has-- a Russian accent!

Jurassic Park (1993)- Steven "Jaws" Spielberg turned out two films in 1993-- this and the award-winning Schindler's List. However, Jurassic Park is more enjoyable. Spielberg and his team actually managed to take a fairly uninteresting book and turn it into one of the masterpieces of American cinema. With all due respect to Michael Crichton, the book is, after all, quite meticulously paced (read: yawn-inducing). But with the extraneous characters deleted, the plot devices sped up-- but not recklessly so-- and the dinosaurs themselves in our full explicit view, the prehistoric thriller works a lot better as a film than a novel. And one of the best things about the movie, John Williams' world-famous score, should never be forgotten. And will never be. Turn the light off, Lex!

Robin Hood: Men In Tights (1993)- Mel Brooks doesn't get enough credit for the comic genius he is. The reason for this, quite simply, is that most of his films (History of the World: Part I, High Anxiety, and even the more-liked Silent Movie) were flops. But in Men in Tights, he pays delightful homage to himself in a way that is neither smug nor arrogant. All of his most famous jokes (including the immortal "walk this way") are re-used; Cary Elwes and the entire cast are spot-on; and the film's WTF musical numbers add to, instead of detract from, the hilarity. Today's so-called "funny men"-- Judd Apatow comes to mind-- could use a lesson from Brooks and his entire maddeningly funny, often self-deprecating ouevre.

The Lion King (1994)- Perhaps the most unlikely inspiration for a G-rated Disney musical 'toon was William Shakespeare's Hamlet, a dark, depressing story in which a rather insane young man seeks revenge on his father's murderer. Nevertheless, The Lion King works on so many levels. The songs are, more often than not, fun, but the real attractions are the animation (still top-quality to this day) and the impressive voice talent (Matthew Broderick, James Earl Jones, Nathan Lane, Jeremy Irons, and I could have sworn I heard Madge Sinclair, but that's unverified). You just can't wait to see King.

Toy Story (1995)- A movie this famous and successful must be overrated, right? Wrong. Actually, with CGI cartoons frequently popping up in theatres-- and most inspiring less than enthusiastic reactions-- the joys of the original Toy Story are nowadays, if anything, underrated. Every kid imagines that their toys are alive-- but wouldn't it be awesome if they actually were? And despite the obnoxious Randy Newman music, this remains a classic that should be on every DVD shelf in America. With backup.

Star Trek: First Contact (1996)- If you want to make a successful Star Trek film, use time travel as your central plot point. It worked for Assignment: Earth. It worked for Star Trek IV: The Voyage Home. And for Picard and company's first big-screen voyage without the hideous presence of Captain Kirk, it works better than ever. When the Borg travel back in time to assimilate the entire population of Earth (horror of horrors!-- seriously, it's no picnic), only one crew can stop them. On the way, they have to help a drunken scientist make first contact with the Vulcans, get him to fly his innovative warp ship, and dance to the dulcet tones of Steppenwolf and Roy Orbison. It also saw the franchise's first PG-13 rating. This, in the words of Zefram Cochran, is the good stuff.

The Sixth Sense (1999)- I hope M. Night's films get better. Lady in the Water was good, but it was panned by just about everyone else in the world, and I just couldn't muster any interest whatsoever in The Happening. They're not always bad, but they're never as good as the one that started it all: the penultimate ghost story, The Sixth Sense. Haley Joel Osment is effectively creepy as the young boy who sees dead people; Bruce Willis is fantastic as the psychiatrist who tries to help him, and the only thing missing from the movie is his big opportunity to kick rear and take names.

Titus (1999)- Centuries before Sweeney Todd baked his victims into pies, revenge also tasted unnaturally sweet (wink-wink) in William Shakespeare's most universally despised tragedy, Titus Andronicus. Written early in his career, it reflects his early need for tutelage and refinement before such accepted classics as Hamlet and The M-Word were written. It must absolutely suck as a play-- but the film, directed by Julie Taymor (of Broadway's Lion King), is a masterpiece. Like some of the greatest movies in history, what we're looking at isn't always what we're really looking at, and the anachronisms-- as opposed to Baz Luhrmann's disgusting Romeo + Juliet-- are not overdone and actually enhance the storyline. The really bloody tragedy includes outstanding performances from Anthony Hopkins, Jonathan Rhys Meyers, Harry Lennix, and Laura Fraser as the tortured Lavinia. In the end, you will feel every emotion you can possibly fathom.

Next time on Xander Candor, the Film Registry draws to a close with the last ten films, taken from the first decade of the twenty-first century. You'll see superheroes, gender-bending rock stars, great animation, and friendly robots. And do my eyes detect a cow on the roof of a cotton house?